Learning to Lament
By: Tarah McBride
If I’m being honest, the last several months have been quite a struggle. I feel it goes without saying that all of our hearts are a bit heavier these days, it’s hard not to feel the collective grief our world is going through. It’s been a tremendously trying time for so many of us. And for those enduring personal struggles, it can feel like God really isn’t listening sometimes. You know those moments when you feel like you’re doing what He wants yet nothing is coming easy. I have been praying for what feels like forever for a sign from God. My husband and I have been trying to start our family for so long and have endured more than any human can handle that I began to feel like God gave upon us. I can’t recall how many conversations I’ve had with God where they’ve consisted of ‘Hey God. I know you’re busy but remember I’m still here.’ Even though you hear about Jesus leaving the 99 to find the 1 it sure is easy to forget that when you’re out in the lonely wilderness.
Whenever I’m feeling down or conflicted I turn to music. I’ve always been so moved by music, it’s no wonder God uses that to speak to me (Yet another thing that leaves me in awe of Him). One day I was listening to a song I’ve clung to during this season of uncertainty. Singing and dancing turned to praying and weeping. Crying out to God, I was brought to my knees. Words came flowing out freely as if they weren’t my own. ‘You said we were going to have a baby and I believe You. Please send us the people, the resources to bring this baby home.’ It felt like the plea of my heart was finally brought to light. Like it was my soul’s cry straight to God’s ears, and having the comfort in knowing He’s listening. A calmness took over me like never before.
I was reminded of a guy I learned about very early in my walk with the Lord that I’ve always resonated with; Job. He lost everything, and then some. His story is filled with great loss and suffering, yet he loved Jesus through and through. But he still had questions and frustrations that he certainly wasn’t afraid to express to God. And he unashamedly poured his heart out to the Lord. The scriptures truly do give voice to the deep human suffering we endure and reminds us that to question, to weep, to lament is profoundly human.
The truth is, I still don’t have all the answers, but I do know the next step. I’m learning the path doesn’t need to be clear before you start sowing seeds of faithfulness. Even though the fear, the sorrow, the doubt, the unknown He is present in every step. Turn to Him, being your concerns, ask boldly, and trust in The One who already knows the outcome.
