"God's Unending Promises" | Jessica's Story

 The word “infertile” came out of the doctor’s mouth. My heart sunk. I nearly passed out.

That word would hang heavy on my heart and when my husband and I didn’t conceive our second child right away, it would resonate in my thoughts over and over. It’s amazing how one word can wound your heart and pierce the soul.

After sharing our struggles with my Mom, she informed me that as a result of many childhood treatments doctors would use the word “infertile” to describe my future. She had never shared this with me and never wanted to speak this over my life. I knew then that it was all up to the Big Man upstairs and the miracle of our first child inspired me. Twice, told by two different doctors that infertility would be my truth, I made the decision to turn to God.

This time in my life challenged me but He used it to change me. He changed my arms of question into arms held high. I fell down to look up, giving it all to Him. This was a daily struggle and a daily choice. Daily, I asked God to help me trust Him no matter what the outcome. At times God was silent and these were the times I knelt longer and held my hands up higher. Throughout the process, God brought me to the point of being content with not having another child.

 As I often did, I opened up my bible and a page fell to the floor. My daughter had gotten ahold of The Book and had accidentally tore the page. Annoyed, I would place it back inside, tell myself to tape it back (never did) and continue reading His Word.  One day God very clearly told me to read the page. Genesis 15 | The Lord’s promise to Abram. God’s promise. I broke out into tears. I had asked God for a sign and this was my sign! I knew at that moment that a baby was coming in some form; on God’s time, not mine. In His way, not mine.

The next month, the very next month, I was expecting. What followed was a series of emotions and then a milestone in my faith journey. While I was filled with an insurmountable amount of joy, I realized that there is a place in our hearts that can ONLY be filled by the promises from God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.“ They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God is ALWAYS good and if it is not good it is not over. The truth is, God is good all the time. He is always good. God exist outside of time, outside of this place and knows our full stories. He knows what we need better than we do, and it starts with Him. He is our Creator. He MADE us. Wouldn’t it make sense that He would know how we are wired? What makes us tick? What makes us happy? Not to mention that He is also all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-present. He placed every star in the sky. He can count every hair on your head (Luke 12:7). Who better to turn to for answers about the future than God? He loves us and He will not fail us. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

This is easier said than done, but God promises that He will not let us down. Rest in His ultimate promise John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.